It seems that I get here Sunday mornings to write. James is at work and the kids are still sleeping, perfect time. This will hopefully be quick because I need to get us all ready for the beach in a few. Love the beach, it's one of my happy places.
It will be no surprise to anyone when I say I could have done without this week. Rylee has not been feeling well at all. Everyday has been pretty much miserable since we went to wannado city. I love her, and feel so awful for her but at the same time it's so hard for me too. Almost everyday of just crying all day or just wanting to be held. I feel like the worst Mom. I want to be there for her but sometimes I just want to scream ENOUGH. Enough for her and enough for me. How awful of me to feel that way. Usually she has about 3 bad days then a few good and I deal much better. This time for the exception of one good day and a few various hours it has been weeks. I hope we turn the corner soon. I just want her to be able to feel good and have fun. I just want her to be two.
On Monday James Dad was taken to the hospital and ended up in the ICU. Not sure who knows what so I won't get into here but he has been pretty sick. Yesterday he finally looked better, hoping that continues. The only good thing about him getting sick is that Drew gets to see Uncle John. He does not get to see him often. On Friday John decided to stay and surprise Drew and go to shabat. Drew really needed this. Things are so hard for him and this was all about him and he knew it. John and I don't aw lays agree on things in life but I thank him for doing this.
Thursday we found out that not only is the insurance company no longer going to pay for Rylee's tube or food but they now denied her for therapy. I can't even get into how angry I am. We are appealing it so please pray for us that we will win.
Thursday night was bunco night, Thank God. Love bunco night talking, games, drinking, eating what more could I ask for. I really needed to get out and hang with the girls, thanks everyone for a great night.
I hate being Debbie the Downer but no matter where I go or what I do, I talk about Rylee. I know people are not interested and are over it. It's really hard to not talk about something that is so much a part of your life. I get that other peoples lives are filled with many other things and are tired of hearing about it. The next time someone makes a comment about our lives or not wanting to talk to us because of our situation don't make it so I can hear it, thanks. All you have to do is remove yourself from our lives, you won't be the first. Sorry to vent here but it is what it is.
Now on to happier things. I need to go so I can get ready for the beach. Love spending time with the family. I thank God everyday that my kids have a love for the beach like their Mama:)
9 years ago